Aspirations of “femininity” – are we doing it wrong?

[Bryony Marsh]

We have recently enjoyed a mention of “46ZZ knockers”, in the discussion on favourite feedback, and I thought I would raise the matter as a separate thread.

Whether victim or willing recipient of a change, the central character in a Fictionmania story commonly ends up with enormous breasts, puffy lips, a wasp waist and an arse you could stand your pint of beer on. Being feminine, for some reason, commonly requires that one becomes blonde, starts acting all ditzy, and becomes promiscuous. (Fingernails like daggers a bonus.)

Maybe they should have called it Fetishmania?

I suppose it’s “comfortable” in that this is what’s expected and Internet communities are self-selecting. I’m not personally interested in the endless retelling of all the sissy stories, but it would appear that there are an awful lot of people who want to write them, and they do get read. (Have a look at Fictionmania authors under 'S' and you can fill the whole screen with contributors who chose a name that begins with ‘Sissy–’.)

Now, I have nothing against large breasts. I note that the typical male frame would require larger breasts than many women simply as a matter of dimensions. As a male, my torso is longer and my legs make up a lesser proportion of overall height. My fat is distributed (okay, concentrated) in different places. Genetics, diet or perhaps years of sport as a teenager left me with broad shoulders. So prosthetics meant to recreate the B- or C-cup breasts I look for in a partner are going to look a bit lost on my own chest.

Meh. I simply don't look very convincing in drag, which is why I abandoned my narcissistic efforts to present part-time as a female. I found that fictional transformations were far more satisfying.

In the circles that I move in, the womenfolk regard their overtly synthetic sisters with... well, with contempt, quite frankly. The false tan, boob job, blonde hair with hairy caterpillar eyebrows, inappropriately chosen footwear: it all says “loser.” Obviously, we have the complexities of the class system in the mix, and the notion of ‘old money’ versus ‘new money’. (I may struggle to explain this to our colonial cousins.) That which is “classy” to one income group is evidence of no class whatsoever to another. The posh girls that I know care a lot less about Jimmy Choo and Louis Vuitton because they have nothing to prove – and they tend to wear any old thing that’s practical because they’ve got to take care of their horse, or whatever. They don’t look upon the pampered lifestyle of a footballer's wife with envy: more likely with horror.

Or maybe I just went massively off-topic. Point is, the ideal of womanhood that exists in my mind is a “girl next door” (in a nice neighbourhood) and she’d have to be clever as well as pretty. Not gorgeous or dripping sexuality like some some Jessica Rabbit character: just pretty – and not conceited. And while I think that French nails can be very sexy, I don’t think they’d last long because I don’t want to be a pampered pooch and real life would damage them. (Also, having false nails glued in place really messes up your own nails: don’t do it!)

Thanks for reading my long, rambling 5 AM rant.

B.

[Sam]

Well a five am rant can be rewarding and lets all the stress away for the rest of the day. well hopefully.

Agree that many of the stories end up having all of what you mentioned above.

I dress mostly in the home and rarely go our dressed as I really do not get the opportunity like when away with my wife and even then its only in the hotel bedroom. I do not consider wearing lingerie under my male clothing as going out dressed.

I have been out dressed at night and in the car and even walked around a car park and was so nervous the experience was not enjoyable.

My own frame would not support a bust size greater than a 36B in bra size as larger than this
would kinda fall into the Jessica Rabbit fetish region.

I have worked with many woman over the years and the most attractive build for me have always been the girl next door type who go around their everyday affairs without fuss.

My poor wife is well endowed, as was her mother, and many unwanted or desired attention due to this.

The girl next door works for me although we are all different in what attracts us.

Its all different sometimes its the eyes that attach, lips, hairstyle, build, legs and the bust or even their bottoms. A lot also depends on how we feel at the time.


Will stop here as I have to get ready for my work.

[Anna]

Both my wife and fourteen year old daughter are both well endowed, wife made J-cup when she was pregnant and the one thing they both agree on is how awful it is. It's virtually impossible to get pretty bras, unless you go to Bravissimo and then it's very expensive, same with swimsuits, blouses, dresses etc. Add in the bad back, bouncing and unwanted attention and you can't imagine anyone wanting anything approaching that sort of size. My frame would, apparently look right with a D-cup and I played second row for the local rugby team.

To me being a normal, average looking woman would be wonderful. To walk down a busy shopping street and not be noticed is my idea of heaven.

To me the majority of these 'sissy' stories are written by men who have never had interaction with real women their whole lives and have no idea about how they live. Same as most of the 'cuckold' stories are written by women who want to do it to their husbands.

[superhellkitten]

I'll be honest .. I don't read any of these stories. As soon as I see a name like sissy or an inclination that the story is about that I switch off and stop reading it. A lot of them are written by people with very unrealistic expectations of women and what they should be like. The more that you have normal day to day interactions with women, you see that they are totally nothing like this.

Many crossdressers for instance wear short skirts and heels. These days unless a woman is going out drinking or to a social occasion they don't wear heels any more. They are uncomfortable and hurt the feet. Those that wear them to work, I notice the come into work in trainers and then change into heels in the office to reduce the discomfort.

[rebeccajane]

Interesting topic Bryony, one I hopefully have something worthwhile to add to with my life's experiences. Like most of us I'm sure I've read FM for a long time, one thing that I've noticed that earlier in its history that the 'sissification and humliation' stories weren't as predominant as they are now. I'm lucky to see one story thats an actually story, or at least how it appears originally, once a week... I might have been more prone to attempt reading one of those stories ten years ago, but now there's now way I could stomach trying. I don't know if its age, my hormonal 'change', or after going through enough humiliation inflicted on me by my ex... It starts infuriating me simply from seeing 'sissy humliation' in the title/description. Give me a story that has a TG character in it, and not a TG story... While that might not make a lot of sense, that's what I look for in a story...

There are so many misconceptions as to what makes a 'proper' woman, one that is prevailant in the trans community as well... I started to fall into that early in my own transition... I was led to 'believe' that, maybe I 'believed' it willingly, that I couldn't go 'out' without a skirt, heels, hair just so, face fully made-up... That was 5 years ago, they more I lived as Rebecca every day the more I realized what total bullshit it actually was... Women don't do that, most days now when I'm not at work my attire of choice is shorts t-shirt and flip flops (Or Florida executive attire), and a good day I might put on mascara... Unless I go out to a nice dinner, or to church I am NOT 'dressed to the 9's...

As far as seeing ones size looking 'less convincing' as female... I'm a large individual, quite large actually. I stand 6ft tall barefoot and I'm built like a line backer (US Football), and at first that was a serious 'flaw' I had trying to transition... Except once I moved past my 'belief' as what made an actually woman and started actually looking around once I pulled my head out of my ass I noticed something. There are natural women that are bigger than me, just like men, women come in all shapes and sizes. I have a good friend, who is Asian decent who is bigger than me height and across her shoulders, nobody ever questions if she is a woman or not.

Sam, yet another thing (always yet another thing with me HAH) is when you are nervous is when you stick out, thats when more people are likely to stare. It doesn't matter how convincing you are or aren't. It takes practice definitely, but its the truth. As I described before I stick out due to my size, but when I act like I belong it hardly registers with people... Living in Trump's 'Merica now situation awareness is how I live my life, and even with that I notice very little stares towards me, at least much less than early in and I was so worried that someone might 'know'..

I've got a bit more to add, but I have to run in and clock in to work... The airplanes arent going to fix themselves lol.
Becca

[Sam]

Aug 14, 2017 9:52:55 GMT superhellkitten said:

Many crossdressers for instance wear short skirts and heels. These days unless a woman is going out drinking or to a social occasion they don't wear heels any more. They are uncomfortable and hurt the feet. Those that wear them to work, I notice the come into work in trainers and then change into heels in the office to reduce the discomfort.

Totally agree with this kitten we stand out as we wish to dress in skirts and heels and with overly done makeup that no normal woman would go out in. We admire woman and respect woman.

Often it is not practical to dress this way and we learn to adjust to fit and yet I would find it difficult to wear
ladies trousers as its an alien feeling to my image of woman. I prefer Nightdresses to PJs and have to be careful when I were them.  I tend to hide the nightdresses from the boys and not from our daughter and its the same with most of my feminine side comfortable with our daughter and not with our sons.

I do have a height that would be an average for a woman to dress and go out as Samantha. Just to do is not practical where we stay.

One day I know this will change, when that one day I still have to mark on the calendar and maybe I should do so and get to that day and just grab the bull by the horns, cant think of a safe feminine version of the last comment.

[rebeccajane]

After rereading your first post (and not right after I woke up) I sort of went on my own little path before work. Bottom line is what 'makes' a woman feel feminine, or feel like a woman? It honestly up to the individual, and the sliding scale is extremely wide and we are all somewhere on it. It's for each one of us to decide what is the kind of woman that I want to be. Some women feel that sensual soft silky clothing and glittering finery defines them, some women are rough and tumble tomboys but in their own way feel feminine, some strive to rail against theirs saying that classically 'feminine' things don't define them.

That same sliding scale also fits into the transgender community. I know transwomen that litterally drip what would be stereotypically defined feminine things, the classic stereotype. Some strive for what they perceive uber feminine, while I think their idea is a caracture of a woman, it's their idea. I know some who are still masculine in many ways, not ready to or not wanting to let go of the 'guy' they were. Each one of us has to find what we perceive to be an idea we are comfortable with.

As far me... My outlook on the whole things is that I had spent a lifetime trying to fit into a classic 'alpha male' stereotype... I was extremely good at the facade, I really was. When I lost the ability to cope with that fake persona 6 years ago it almost killed me, like litterally... Once I accepted I was trans, and started my transition, I started to fall into the same trap I see so many fall into when they start to transition... I caught myself trying to fit into another stereotype... After a lot of soul searching I realized one extremely important thing... After fighting almost to my death to 'fit into a stereotype, why the hell would I try to so quickly fit into another... I realized I don't want to fit in to any preconceived notions that someone might have... I run into that a lot actually... When I meet someone new, they have preset ideas of 'what' a transgender woman is... Just like any other woman, I am my own person. I choose what is comfortable to me. I constantly break peoples preconceptions.

So what if I enjoy working on aircraft, or even working on my truck, or a lawnmower, or whatever. I enjoy tinkering with my hands, I'm good at it. While my nails arent 'long' they are longer than typically men keep them, and even though they are painted, albeit constantly chipped, if you look under them there is always some grease that wont come out...Those things don't make me 'less trans' as I'm often accused of by the community. In the same vein, I enjoy getting dressed up and going out with friends, and I enjoy wearing pretty dresses to church, I own a mix of really feminine things (dresses and heels and such) and of everyday type wear (shorts, tee's, flip-flops or flats or sneakers) The only male piece of clothing I have left is my leather jacket I wore when I used to be a biker... It still fits and has a bit of sentimental value to it.

None of those things define me as more or less masculine or feminine, I'm simply just me... and for the first time since I was a small kid, I'm good with that.

[Sam]

I gather that when the time came for you to transition the stereotype was you had have a "real Live" test despite already having years of real live test as the wrong gender.

"None of those things define me as more or less masculine or feminine, I`simply just me..
and for the first time since I was a small kid, I`m good with that." You are who you are meant to be Becca and more happy for it regardless of the ups and downs getting to today

[superhellkitten]

Aug 14, 2017 20:17:25 GMT Sam said:

Aug 14, 2017 9:52:55 GMT superhellkitten said:

Many crossdressers for instance wear short skirts and heels. These days unless a woman is going out drinking or to a social occasion they don't wear heels any more. They are uncomfortable and hurt the feet. Those that wear them to work, I notice the come into work in trainers and then change into heels in the office to reduce the discomfort.

Totally agree with this kitten we stand out as we wish to dress in skirts and heels and with overly done makeup that no normal woman would go out in. We admire woman and respect woman.

Often it is not practical to dress this way and we learn to adjust to fit and yet I would find it difficult to wear

I think crossdressers dress usually in an idealised way that they'd like women to look even though they come to realise that its not really practical. I think its partially a sexual response loop that we have going on in our brains, though its so difficult to put everyone in the same basket as people are all so different. The loop is that we want to look and feel sexy and that is what we see as being the ideal in our minds. This is contrary to the fact that most crossdressers are completely heterosexual and love the women they are with.  

I think with the whole sissy fetish it is something very different and that its more to do with dominance and that the sissy's want to take a submissive role and see that as being the woman's role which is why they are forced to dress that way. This is the opposite of female empowerment and its something I really don't like. I like to promote women being strong as people and having good positive role models which is kind of completely opposite to that.

Anyway I'll take off my tinpot psychologist hat now and just hope that I haven't offended anyone.

Kitten

[rebeccajane]

Aug 15, 2017 6:14:17 GMT Sam said:

I gather that when the time came for you to transition the stereotype was you had have a "real Live" test despite already having years of real live test as the wrong gender.

"None of those things define me as more or less masculine or feminine, I`simply just me..
and for the first time since I was a small kid, I`m good with that." You are who you are meant to be Becca and more happy for it regardless of the ups and downs getting to today

It wasn't exactly that Sam... You see, the stereotype I started trying to fit into, was one that I had made myself. After spending decades trapped into that male stereotype that I was forced into, you know the 'be a man' or 'boys don't cry' crap... Instead of actually paying attention to women, and how they were, I had come to believe that to 'be a woman' was to be the exact opposite of the masculine stereotype... I was wrong though, and thankfully I realized that... I think that most of us do that to some extent, some more than others... I think that leads to some of the fiction on FM, the more extreme is probably directly related to someone's misconceptions that they have... There is nothing truly binary in nature, and there is so much more than being either masculine or feminine... There isn't just black and white, just varying shades of gray...

Becca